Tom McGinnis, the radio voice of the Philadelphia 76’ers has a great line I’d like to share with you.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

It comes out of his mouth with the predictability of an atomic clock whenever he sees something outrageous take place on the floor.

Tommy, my boy, right about now I need to hear a great big “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

As I made my semi-regular stop at the WaWa this morning on the way to work I saw something new grace the counter. There, among the stale pretzels, chocolate-peanut butter Easter Eggs, bubble gum, and death sticks (aka: “cigarettes”) was a new display.

The Candy Toothbrush.

No, really. I’m not kidding. It was a piece of candy so realistically crafted that you would have sworn, from anything more than a foot away, that it was the real thing, colorful bristles and all. Perched atop the display was a caricature of a child’s head sporting an enormous set of teeth with the child dragging the “toothbrush” across his teeth.

I paused and studied the display for a moment. At first glance I thought they were real toothbrushes. “How good,” I thought to myself. It would be an amazing civic gesture if they sold toothbrushes at the front register complete with a little tube of toothpaste. What a noble concept; WaWa doing its part to cut down on cavities.

Then I saw the word “Candy.”

Impulsively, instinctively, I picked up the entire display and held it aloft as one would when pointing out an object of disdain. I turned, stared right at the manager and uttered the now famous line.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

He wasn’t amused. The gentleman behind me laughed loudly and started clapping until he realized I was getting the stare-down from the store manager. He immediately put a lid on his “Yeah! You tell him!” exuberance.

The manager said nothing. His steely-eyed gaze told me everything. “Put down the candy, buster, or I’ll call the constabulary.”

I paused, the line of gawkers on the other side of the counter now likewise staring at my display of unrestrained astonishment.

“Just the soda?” The manager attempted to regain control over his store.

“Yeah.” I sheepishly returned the display to the counter.

“That’ll be 95 cents.”

“Here ya go. Have a great day!” It was the least I could say to salvage my outburst.

So I’ll say it again here in print.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

With tooth decay among children a major problem in this country, especially among urban, underprivileged youth, some greedy, “who gives a darn” company has the audacity to concoct “Candy Toothbrushes?”

I’d ask, “What’s the world coming to?” but I fear I already know the answer.