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Rise Up America! It’s Time to Call #ThirdWorldFlorida to Account!

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My dear friends, it is time to get mobilized!

It is time to recognize the “Sunshine State” for what it is.  A backwater, third world, banana republic that can’t run a decent election!  We must rise up as a citizenry and FIGHT the corrupt, banal bureaucrats in that failed state who CANNOT PUT ON AN ELECTION TO SAVE THEIR VERY LIVES!

And if you live in Florida and you want to complain, here’s where to go…  http://www.fec.state.fl.us/  CALL THEM!  Let them hear your voice with a megaphone, Floridians.  You are good and decent, hard working people!  I have family I love in Florida.  It’s a great place to visit.

Your legislature, however, is A WORLD CLASS EMBARRASSMENT!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  7 HOURS IN LINE TO VOTE?  You want evidence of corruption and voter intimidation?  Look no further than the state that can’t get people in and out of the voting booth in less than 30 minutes.

And WHY, you may ask, are they waiting 7 hours in line to vote in Florida?

‘Cause that cabal of TEA PARTY BULLIES they call a state legislature LOADED UP the ballot with 11-pages of FULL TEXT amendments and resolutions!  IN COMPLICATED LEGALESE, NO LESS!  Florida’s Supreme Court already smacked these miscreants once for making ballot initiatives confusing, you would think they would learn by now.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  12 PAGES OF BALLOT INITIATIVES?

In WHAT universe would any SANE person consider it a GOOD USE of taxpayer money, NOT TO MENTION THE HARDSHIP IT IMPOSED ON THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES, to create a 12-page-long ballot!

You mean to tell me that one of the most diverse, most populated states in the union CANNOT GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER and conduct an election like CIVILIZED people?  REALLY?

What kind of government are they running down there?  NORTH KOREA?

Today is Thursday, TWO DAYS after the close of the election, and the ONE STATE still COUNTING VOTES, is FLORIDA!

RISE UP, AMERICA!  RISE UP AND MARGINALIZE #ThirdWorldFlorida.  

Use that hash tag, Tweet it to the world, and let’s show Florida for what it is…

A state run by corrupt, inept politicians who CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO RUN AN ELECTION without inconveniencing the ENTIRE COUNTRY!

It is time to embarrass and KEEP embarrassing that failed state until the citizenry gives their BRUTE SQUAD legislature the boot.  These guys make Andre the Giant’s “Fezzick” look like Princess Buttercup.  It is time for the hard-working, good people of #ThirdWorldFlorida to muster some collective will and THROW THOSE BUMS IN TALLAHASSEE OUT THE FRONT DOOR OF THE STATE HOUSE!

Think about this for a moment.  

This election was a LOT closer than the pundits would have you believe.  

If Obama hadn’t shot himself in the foot with that LAME first debate performance, it might have been more of a walk-over.

It wasn’t.  

Forget that 303 Electoral College win.  That number makes this thing look a lot more lopsided than it was when you get right down the POPULAR vote.  Less than 3 million votes separate the winner from the loser.  That might sound like a lot until you consider it was a 50/48 split.  We are STILL a fractured, divided country.  In our winner-take-all Electoral College system, the reality is that if three “swing” states hadn’t fallen every-so-slightly for Obama, and Romney hadn’t shot himself in the foot with the auto workers in Ohio, Florida might actually matter.

(Really, Mitt?  Suggesting that the auto companies want to ship their jobs to China?  I know that was a Super-PAC doing your dirty work, but c’mon buddy.  You had this thing sown up until you dropped that dung pile on the airwaves.)

How would you feel right now if this election actually HINGED on Florida!  And it COULD HAVE!  Ohio went for Obama, but it might not have.  If Paul Ryan had done a little more work in Wisconsin, it might have flipped.  And if this all came down to Florida we would STILL be waiting for the outcome of the election because #ThirdWorldFlorida STILL wouldn’t have its final vote tally reported.

IT IS TIME FOR A NATIONAL REVOLT AND COLLECTIVE SPANKING OF FLORIDA’S LEGISLATURE!

Join with me and HOUND that backwater banana republic until your friends and family who live there get up the collective backbone to actually DO SOMETHING about their miserable election process!  If this happens again in four years – and it just might given that we’ve been dealing with it since Bush -v- Gore in 2000 – I say we ought to just stretch the border from Mexico straight across the gulf, up the Florida panhandle, and CUT THAT MISERABLE PENINSULA OFF from the rest of the United States.

THIS SITUATION IS OUT OF CONTROL AND IT IS INFURIATING ME!

Okay…  I’m breathing now.  I’m taking a breath.  I’m moving on for a few minutes.

BUT I’M NOT LETTING THIS ONE GO!  Until Florida decides to stop HURTING the rest of this country with its moronic election procedures I will CONTINUE to call it for what it is…

#ThirdWorldFlorida

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