Hey Kate, The Answer isn’t “Complicated”… Quit the Show

June 22, 2009 | Posted by Steve

As promised, I skipped Jon and Kate Plus 8 tonight.  Instead, I hopped on the treadmill, fired up the Playstation 2, and played a riveting game of “Burnout Revenge.”  (Hey, we all have our vices.  Mine is ramming computer-controlled cars off bridges.  Who needs “road rage?”)  By comparison, Burnout Revenge turned out to be a relatively mild game of bumper cars compared to what was going on over at TLC.  The news reports afterward made the story abundantly clear.

The Gosselins have filed for divorce.

Reading the transcript of the salient moment, where Kate explains (tearfully) that their marriage is over and “it’s complicated”, I found myself screaming at the computer.

“It’s not complicated, lady!  It’s called a FULL-THROTTLE GREED-FEST!”

Jon and Kate are blaming the collapse of their marriage on the tabloids, outsiders, and just about everyone except themselves.  They talk in euphemistic terms about it being a “private” matter even as they rake in beaucoup dough from their allegedly “no holds barred” reality series.  Though I think Kate is marginally more culpable as a result of her drippingly, overtly condescending attitude toward Jon over the years, Jon does not walk away unscathed.  An honorable man would never have allowed himself to find comfort in the arms of another woman.  Period.

Am I the only person who finds this whole episode a little – uhhh – weird?  A “reality” show where people get paid big bucks for a “private” glimpse into their home, their lifestyles and personalities go the way of the gilt-edged as affluence grows, and then they wonder when the wheels came off the wagon?

At the risk of sounding childishly taunting…

Uhhh…  DUH!

Kate, you have such a death grip on your Berks County manse that you can’t see the choke-hold you put on Jon.

Your divorce is not “complicated.”  It all gets down to one thing.  You love the money more than you want to love each other.

You want the love back?

Ditch the show.  Get Jon into a room with a counselor, rekindle the stuff that brought you together in the first place, and live in a one-room shack in Wellsboro on the re-run residuals.  Whatever you do, though, get over your weird, misplaced perception that holding on to the show and the cash at all costs is worth more than holding on to your marriage at all costs.

The J&K+8 show is a train wreck.  TLC is milking it for all it’s worth in the promos and you’re going along for the ride.  Say goodbye, say hello to each other in a quiet room without TV cameras waiting around, and recommit to your kids and your love.  It’s possible, I’ve seen it done before, and it’s imperitive if you are to raise kids who ultimately steer clear of the same kind of devastation you have wrought on each other in your quest for the glamourous life.

Good riddence to J&K+8.  Here’s hoping that Jon and Kate Gosselin fade from the limelight and resume a 10-year-long marriage that once had some joy in it before the divorce papers are finally approved.

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